Last year footie hero GARETH BALE told me he was fond of the quiet life and avoided nightclubs at all costs.
On Sunday the Spurs star picked up the PFA Players' Player Of The Year Award for an incredible season in the Premier and Champions League. So how did the Welsh wizard celebrate?
He turned up at west London club Merah, danced on tables to 50 CENT with a gaggle of glamour girls and rattled up his share of a £100k bar bill with Young Player Of The Year JACK WILSHERE.
If that's the kind of quiet life he enjoys, I'm going to settle down too.
An onlooker at Merah said: "It was a classic footballers-on-the- p*** night out.
"Gareth was in great form, as was Jack. Gareth was dancing to 50 Cent's Buzzin on a table with two models.
"Jack Wilshere and his pals were also up to mischief.
"He was told off because someone with him was trying to light a cigarette inside.
"One of the security guards clocked what was going on and escorted Jack and his pals to an outside smoking area. The footballers in total racked up a £100k bar bill trying to impress wannabe WAGs.
"Bale, Wilshere and ASHLEY YOUNG from Aston Villa received the most interest from girls. They were queueing up to sit on their tables."
Gareth's share of the bill must have been about £40.
He claims to be a teetotal fitness fanatic, so the Red Bull must have been flowing to get him up dancing on the tables.
The caffeine hangover and furry teeth must have been terrible when he got up yesterday.
As for Wilshere, he appears to be stepping up to the famous reputation of the Arsenal heroes of the TONY ADAMS era.
He's not just a nailed-on name on the team sheet at Arsenal.
He'll be the first name on Bizarre on Monday mornings for the rest of his career.
From Gordon Smart's Bizarre column in The Sun, 27 April 2011:
Last week I reported that Gareth Bale celebrated his PFA Player's Player of The Year Award by dancing on tables with glamour girls at nightclub Merah in London.
At the time I said it was a bit out of character for the teetotal Welsh winger, and in fact we now accept that we got it wrong.
The Spurs hero was in fact back home with his parents, his grandfather, sister, girlfriend and the trophy at his Essex home.
He did not visit the club and was professional enough to head straight home after the awards. Sorry Gareth.