Alas, it turned out the 'secret' was that lots of alcohol, fizzy drinks and crisps are bad for you, while fruit, vegetables and exercise are good for you.
On 18 October 2010, the Express revealed what they claimed was the 'Secret of a longer life', which was that eating a healthy, varied diet was good for you.
And the front page of Wednesday's Express has another familiar-sounding health 'secret' to reveal, a 'key' that has been found by 'experts':
And what is this 'secret of a longer life' this time? Nathan Rao explains:
Britons can add up to 15 years to their lives by following a simple four-step plan, a breakthrough study revealed yesterday.
Not smoking, regular exercise, not being overweight and eating a Mediterranean-style diet could 'substantially reduce' the risk of early death.
Who knew?
Don't the regular readers notice the trend by now?
ReplyDeleteI've never even picked up a copy of the Express but I feel I know its content quite well thanks to sites like Tabloid Watch.
So how can someone actually go out and buy it every day and not think to themselves "hmm, this is quite shit"?
Surely you'd think to yourself that you deserve more from the paper you buy than to be fed the kind of information you're taught by your parents before you start primary school dressed up as Important New Revelations?
My head hurts trying to understand.
(head in hands)
ReplyDeleteI reckon they missed a trick - we'd live even longer if we ate raw fish and drank green tea all day.
I'm saved!
ReplyDelete@Jarren
ReplyDeleteI guess it's just a case of reading it one day, then binning the paper and not remembering what was printed yesterday. I reckon that if the exact same copy of the paper was printed every day for a week it'd still be getting bought by the same people who just sit and absorb whatever crap it prints without question.
I hope Desmond doesn't read this, I've probably just given him an idea to save money.
People read the Express because it frames their view of the world. It's attitudes and prejudices confirm their own - whether fawning over royalty or blaming immigrants. Express readers are quite happy to read the same story over and over again so that they can say 'told you so'
ReplyDeleteIf you bought this paper every day, before long you'd be feeling like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. It's a stuck record in print format.
ReplyDeletethey didn't note that being born into a higher social class helps. Come on Daily Express, get on it
ReplyDeleteThese Miracle Cure/Magic Pills/Blinking gives you cancer stories they run are really just place holders until the next anti foreigner/immigrant/EU story can be made up.
ReplyDeleteThey may as well just write "PLEASE STANDBY, WE'RE WAITING FOR THE FORRINS TO SLIP UP, NORMAL OUTRAGE WILL RESUME SHORTLY!"