Richard Littlejohn's latest column includes a 'you couldn't make it up' about a paedophile on Viagra; a story about 'stupid' policemen - in which brings up transsexuals, again; a pop at global warming and carbon credits; an attack on Mark Oaten, so he can talk about homosexual acts; a use of 'Call Me Dave' (laugh? I nearly did) and finally he insults a government minister over the Dannatt affair. Brilliant.
But why does he get paid so much for writing stuff which Mail readers have already read?
The paedophile on Viagra, carbon credits, stupid policemen and Call Me Dave stories appeared in the Mail the day before Littlejohn's column. The Mark Oaten story the day before that. The Dannatt story has been running for the past few days, most recently updated today.
So he doesn't do anything for his columns except read - and then re-heat - Mail stories from a day or two before. And, of course, he adds in a few of his special 'facts', 'hilarious' catchphrases and casual racism.
And that is, apparently, worth over £800,000 a year.
You really couldn't make...oh, you know the rest.