'Jordan and Pete kiss and make up'.It comes illustrated with a photo of the two together, looking very friendly.
It's a Star 'exclusive'.
But the article by Emily Hall doesn't, as usual, back up the headline. In fact, it tells a different story entirely:
Caring Kate Price last night issued a heartfelt plea to exhusband Peter Andre: "Please call me."
The glamour girl offered her old flame an olive branch, saying: "I’m just a phone call away. Enough is enough."
Right. So this 'kiss and make-up' has happened without them actually meeting or speaking?
Later in the article, Hall refers to the latest tedious developments in their lives as 'the latest spat'. That's an odd way to describe a 'kiss and make-up'.
Unless, of course, the 'kiss and make up' claim is a complete lie, cynically splashed across the front page to try to sell extra copies of this desperate rag - if you can imagine the Star doing such a thing...
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Hahaha! At least they could put a question mark on the end in order to give it an (albeit Mail-esque) veneer of not being complete bollocks.
ReplyDeleteMind you, that would obscure a couple of square feet of bare thigh, which may be an issue for the proprietor.
No, see, the headline is in the imperative tense, so it's fine.
ReplyDeleteImperitive - what, as in they are just missing a comma?
ReplyDelete'Jordan & Pete Kiss, and Make Up'
Or a hyphen?
'Jordan & Pete - Kiss and Make Up'
Or is it a hyphen AND an exclamation mark?
'Jordan & Pete - Kiss and Make Up!
I'm gramatically confused.
Never mind that. What about the storm-like bomb that ripped Oz to bits and the two red-nosed women who are vandalising carhorns?
ReplyDeleteNice to see a bit of continuity in that a pointless, made up celeb story is more newsworthy than a devastating storm or mass riots in other countries. Although to be fair at least the Star does making a nod to both on thier front pages, more than can be said for the "upmarket" Express or Mail, which have dug hard to find almost anything else they can so they don't need to report on those ghastly foreigners.
ReplyDeleteThat's why they are called 'tabloids' - i.e those that belong to their own genre of news provision. To whit; the vacous obesssion with celebrity minutiae and cheap double-entedering.
ReplyDeleteWho buys the Star/Express/Sun for actual 'news news?'.
Why are they classed, sold and advertised as newspapers if they have no interest whatsoever in reporting actual news?
ReplyDeleteThey should be taken off the newspaper stands and put in with the likes of Hello!
P.S. Tabloid is technically a newspaper size format anyway. My local paper, The Edinburgh Evening News for example, is a "tabloid" but does not contain made up stories about celebs or Muslims.
In a sense the whole celebrity circus is a lie as celebrities don't really exist in the normal sense, they are just a product of skillful marketing. Of course there's a real person behind them, but they are just actors playing a part because it pays them to do so. One might just as well discuss the lives of Edna Everidge or Widow Twankey.
ReplyDeleteIs that really her? It looks like a dodgy Photoshop job to me. Or maybe that's just her makeup.
ReplyDelete