And it wasn't just 'perverted' and 'distasteful' but:
Nice to see Daily Mail Reporter knows where the Mail's office thesaurus is kept.
Good job, too, that only 650,000 people watch the show and the details of this 'disturbing' scene aren't too widely known.
In white lingerie and a pink robe, Belle is confident that she will soon remind him of what he has been missing.
Talking to camera, she says: 'It's so sad when they're like that. Give me an hour with him, he'll be a new man.'
But as the action hots up, Simon reveals he has a penchant for the farm yard - or rather pretending to be an animal.
He says: 'Let's do it like dirty dogs. You dirty cow. You little pig. You dirty, dirty, dirty goat.'
Belle obliges him, replying: 'I'm so dirty. I'm a goat. I'm a chicken. I'm a dirty ewe.'
In a scene which becomes increasingly humiliating, she has to fulfil the wish of her paying customer when he asks her to 'bleat like a sheep'.
It sounds so ridiculous that it must surely have been played for laughs. Does the uptight Mail not realise that?
Clearly not, because Daily Mail Reporter has taken it all very seriously, pretending to be outraged while also giving every 'perverted' detail of what happened and even included a screenshot of Piper during this 'distasteful' 'romp'. Along with three other pictures of her not wearing very much.
The article says:
As a high-class call girl, there is nothing that Belle de Jour won't do for money.
As a low-class website, there is nothing that MailOnline won't do for hits.