Littlejohn makes it up, even when claiming he doesn't

Yesterday, Richard Littlejohn was talking about health and safety. Again. But he was on the defensive this time.

Rob Strange, Chief Executive of the Institution of Occupational Safety and Health, had written in the Independent about the nonsense the media wrongly attributes to 'health and safety'. As an example, he highlighted a Littlejohn column that:

...rolled its eyes at the news that a coastal footpath had “fallen foul of elf ‘n’ safety”, amid concerns that someone might fall in a loch and drown. Apparently, a lifeguard would need to be present at all times.

A quick phone call to the local authority revealed that the walk, considered unsuitable for toddlers, had simply been left out of a local guide to family walks. The lifeguard was pure fiction.

Littlejohn huffed back:

The chief executive of the Institution of Occupational Safety and Health has accused me of making up stories about elf'n'safety.

Never mind that he can point to only one example

Yes, that's because he only had a few hundreds words. He goes on:

Never mind that he can point to only one example, a story which came not from my imagination, but from the Rotary Club of Stranraer, which was told that it would have to employ a lifeguard and a 'trained outdoor specialist' if it intended to use a footpath alongside Loch Ryan.

Hmm. So Littlejohn's Chinese whispers or the word of the local authority?

But the overpaid buffoon couldn't stop there and had to stick his foot in it again:

He also, rather unfortunately, chose the day on which we learned that the traditional cheese-rolling contest in Gloucestershire had been cancelled this year on grounds of elf'n'safety.

Sometimes, even I can't make it up.

Except, you won't be surprised to learn, he can. For two reasons.

One is that the cheese-rolling cancellation was announced on Thursday 11 March (the Mail reported it on the Friday), whereas Smith's article was in the Independent on Monday 15 March.

That's what Littlejohn thinks is the same day.

Moreover, as this blog pointed out on Friday, the cheese-rolling was not cancelled for health and safety reasons.

(More over at Angry Mob)

A quick mention of last Friday's Littlejohn columns where he once again wheeled out two of his most over-used ideas: ripping off old TV programs, and 'hilarious' imaginary conversations.

Later, he accused the media of being a:

rolling party political broadcast

for the government. He blamed political reporters for 'taking dictation' from Lord Mandelson and suggested that any critical reporting of David Cameron was somehow unfair and unjustified.

But he ended this little segment with this gem:

This isn't journalism

That's right. Littlejohn lecturing other people about what 'journalism' is.

You couldn't...oh, you know the rest.

But his most obnoxious comment came in a short piece about the arrest of Colleen LaRose (who has been dubbed by 'Jihad Jane'), which, as 5CC points out, saw Littlejohn recommend racial profiling.

Oh no, Littlejohn whined, now white people will have to be stopped and searched at airports because there has never been a white terrorist before:

Millions of innocent women will now have to suffer the indignity of electronic stripsearching before they board a plane, on the off-chance they might turn out to be 'Jihad Judy' or 'Jihad Jill'.

Presumably, Littlejohn also fears for the suffering of millions of innocent Muslims who have to do the same.

No, thought not.

As if that wasn't cretinous enough, he added:

'Jihad Jane' is the one they've all been praying for, just as the first Western heterosexual woman with HIV was a godsend to the Aids industry.

What?

So apparently, not only is there an 'AIDS industry' but this industry thinks it's a 'godsend' when someone becomes infected with HIV.