In between one mention of 'hell in a handcart' and two of 'elf'n'safety' (I shudder just typing it), Littlejohn once again proves his total ignorance of the matters he writes about. In a rant about the reduction in the number of job vacancies for migrant workers ('Believe it when it happens. There’s always a loophole') he says that there is still a shortage of orchestral musicians. Therefore:
Stand by for an influx of asylum-seekers arriving at Victoria coach station clutching violins, clinging to the roof of Eurostar with one hand while playing a clarinet with the other and tap-dancing their way through immigration.
Which manages to be both totally unfunny and totally incorrect. Because asylum seekers aren't allowed to work. You'd think someone who was so obsessed with the subject would at least know that after all this time.