If you are an illegal immigrant facing deportation from the UK then don't worry - just tell the authorities that you have a cat and they will let you stay.
Well, they won't, because that isn't what happened, but do go on...
That was the case for a Bolivian man who was due to be sent home. Then judges ruled that deporting him would breach his human rights by interfering with his family life - his family being his girlfriend and a cat.
Well, that wasn't 'the case' at all. But do go on...
I can see the signs as you enter Dover: "A cat is for life not just for Christmas... in fact it's for a whole new life. Welcome to Britain."
Invented signs for an invented story. Brilliant. How does he do it?
The story, incidentally, was debunked by Donal McIntyre - and the man's lawyer - on BBC Radio Five Live on Sunday.
How many more times is it going to be repeated before columnists and journalists do the slightest bit of research and find out it's rubbish?
And isn't it clearer than ever than Littlejohn, Platell, Holmes and their ilk just regurgitate crap they have read in other papers, with a few spiteful comments and woeful attempts at humour added. No independent thinking or common sense or research required.
With Holmes, you doubt the readers even got to the cat bit however. After all, he began his column with the striking revelation:
Funerals are always sad occasions
Most people should have given up right there.