Monday, 17 May 2010

Carole the Consistent

Carole 'liar' Malone is delighted by the new coalition government.

Watching it unfold on TV while in Spain, she was impressed, despite having voted Conservative:

I liked it. I liked the fact two smart, well-educated YOUNG guys were standing there talking about the 'new politics' and telling us the job of putting Britain back together was starting right there and then.

I liked their energy, their vibrancy, their determination...

if the result is change, if together Cameron and Clegg can modernise British politics, if the result of all this is that Britain becomes a better, more stable, more solvent place, then how that can be bad?

Don't you feel rejuvenated and refreshed by the winds of change that could well come back and blow our houses down, but which for now are blowing away the cobwebs and the detritus of 13 years of New Labour?...

We can keep banging on about self-interested, power-mad politicians or we can look at what's happening with optimistic eyes - and give it a chance.

Got that? Good, because that verdict might suprise anyone who read her recent columns.

For example, when she said:

those who voted tactically in order to get a hung parliament? Well, they got what they wished for and it's a big fat mess - the victims of which are already the British people.


Britain will be run by a government that makes decisions NOT because they're good for us but because they're the best compromise both parties could agree on.

But now, she 'loves' the idea of the 'new politics' a coalition government.

And who has been 'banging on about self-interested, power-mad politicians'?

Here's Carole, just last week:

the Lib Dem pipsqueaks who - whatever they claim their principles and policies to be - are actually just gagging for power.

So whichever 'bribes' suit them best, whoever promises them the most clout to help run this country - and YOUR lives - is who they'll cuddle up to.

Are you scared yet? You should be.

But if the Lib Dems DO go with the Tories what does it say about THEM and their high and mighty principles - not to mention Cleggy, who you can bet your sweet life will end up with a nice little cabinet job out of all this.


Two weeks before that, she targeted Nick Clegg more fully:

Clegg is already getting on my nerves.

Whinging about being smeared...Telling half truths about his crackpot policies, pretending his party is Holier than Thou...he's sure as hell not the man to get Britain out of the doo-doo.

But now he's a 'smart', 'well educated' and 'refreshing' 'YOUNG guy' who can make Britain 'better' and more 'stable'?

Oh and a few weeks ago, she added:

In this week's debate he was verging on the cocky...

He's a posh Del Boy selling himself and his party knowing full well that if he plays his cards right now he'll have massive personal power after the election when the Lib-Dems team up with Labour.

But now Clegg is 'energetic', 'vibrant' and 'determined'?

Also: 'when the Lib Dems team up with Labour'? Oops.

And it wasn't just Clegg she was unimpressed by last month. Reviewing David Cameron's performance in the first debate, she said he was:

the big shocker. It was like he'd had his personality surgically removed. He was passive, uninspired, almost weasly - like he had no guts or fight in him.

He certainly didn't look like a Prime Minister...[he] came across as a wimp with zero conviction.

Good job he's now just as 'energetic', 'vibrant' and 'determined' as Clegg, then.

Back in March, Malone was also attacking the leaders' wives:

Take the most recent obsession with party leaders' wives. It's bad enough Labour's spin doctors are desperately trying to canonise Sarah Brown. But now, with just weeks to go before the election, David Cameron has dreamily announced that wife Sam is his 'secret weapon.'

It's also no coincidence Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has now taken to dragging his very attractive wife Miriam around by the hand (her other hand shamelessly brandishing her 'eco' bag made from bottle tops) as if to say: 'If I can bag a stunner like this I'm more interesting than you all think.'

I'm sorry, Sarah, Sam, Miriam - all very nice women I'm sure - but frankly who gives a flying fig what they think about anything? We're not voting for THEM.

And just to make her position on the wives absolutely clear, she added:

I refuse to be patronised by spin doctors trying to con us into believing that if these men are married to great women there's obviously more to them - a softer, more loving, more caring side - than we're seeing on the political stage.

Alas, this week:

And talking of progress, doesn't it gladden your heart to see that that both Cameron and Clegg are married to bright, progressive career women - because it says much about what kind of men they are and how they think.

So two months ago, Malone hated politicians trying to con her into thinking the type of woman they are married to said something about them.

Now, she finds it heart-warming that David and Nick are married to women such as Samantha and Miriam because that says much about what kind of men they are.

Clearly, most people wouldn't go to Carole Malone's column for intellectual rigour, but is a bit of consistency too much to ask for?


  1. I've said it before and I'll say it again: these people aren't journalists. They're cheap whores, selling their 'beliefs', which change on a daily basis, for whoever will write them a cheque. "Ooh yes mr editor, I just LOVE the new coalition, whatever you want me to say..."

    Hell, you could make a satirical newspaper illustration out of that; pretty much the above quote with Carole Malone flashing her knockers. Or Richard Littlejohn, his are big enough too.

  2. Love the way Miriam is "shamelessly brandishing her 'eco' bag" as opposed to just, like, holding it.

  3. it's a bit off the point but wow, yes, isn't is refreshing to see the 'new politics' of two white, fresh faced young middle to upper class men! isn't it refreshing that 'samcam' is such a high flying career woman (who has just quit her job). what change! what brave new world is this!

    but yeah, carole malone is such a hypocrite. so frustrating

  4. MacGuffin, are you sure the paper didn't just ship Glenda Slagg of Private Eye in for a couple of weeks?

  5. Hector - Malone sounds like Glenda every week.

  6. Well put together.

    What an awful woman.

  7. Carol Malone slagged off the Labour government for their tax rises arguing that it was an attack on working class aspiration and the ambitions of working class people to do well for themselves.
    Ok so she's all for working class aspiration is she? She wants working class people to be well off and doing alright for themselves?
    Funny because she spends most of her time writing bile about "overpaid" footballers who have the audacity to just that!

  8. I was watching Newsnight tonight when the French ambassador referred to are new PM as David Camera-On. I think that just about says it all. Say or do anything in private but once the Camera is On go into automatic pilot mode.

  9. Carole Malone is a horirble woman who isn't even a very good writer her articles remind me of a GCSE english project. She has done it again by writing a sensationalist piece about Cumbria after the shootings to which Cumbrians are upset - see the facebook group
    She needs to publicly apologise for her comments and Newspapers should stop giving her column inches


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