Thursday, 11 June 2009

Star reveals its in-depth political knowledge

Just to prove there is something other than made-up reality TV and sleb stories in the Daily Star comes a made-up political story. It appears to have taken its lead from the unashamed Tory supporting Express, its sister paper. So the story Prime Minister's Cabinet reshuffle 'puzzles' voters tells us:

Defiant Gordon Brown unveiled his new-look Cabinet yesterday – but left voters clueless over who many of them many ordinary Brits weary of the leadership saga, it was a sea of unknown faces around the famous Cabinet table in 10 Downing Street.

Cabinets are supposed to be crammed full of big-hitting politicians the public are familiar with.

But many of Mr Brown’s team have been hastily promoted, leaving voters asking: “Who are these people?”

And the evidence for what the public thinks? Well, it doesn't actually mention where this comes from. It is entirely possible that such a poll does exist, but the failure to name is source is immediately suspicious. If there is a poll, it's probably done in the Star newsroom.

Because, as the BBC's Chief Political Correspondent James Landale pointed out on the day of the reshuffle:

It's been a mini-reshuffle. Over half of the cabinet are in the same jobs. There are only six new entrants. It's not a substantial injection of new blood.

So how does the Star decide it's 'a sea of unknown faces'? Probably because they have been so busy watching Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity over the last few years that they don't have a clue about politics.

And to prove it: their 'humourous' 'alternative' Cabinet, which suggests Simon Cowell as PM and Lucy Pinder at International Development because

'this glamour girl, 25, would be a great at making sure the international community developed an interest in the breast of British'.

See what they did there? Brilliant.


  1. Bad puns aside, Lucy Pinder is unique in that list in actually being a sensible suggestion. She is both intelligent and interested in politics - and she has some very good ideas. She genuinely would in all seriousness make a good Minister for International Development, and with more ministerial experience, a good Chancellor.

  2. I thought this was a sarcastic comment, but then I saw 'Pigeon' is a webmaster for a Lucy Pinder fansite, and realised he was actually being serious! But his views may not be considered the most unbiased, given his obsession.

    Just tried to find some evidence of Pinder's 'very good ideas' but couldn't find anything beyond her saying she's a 'Tory bird', she most admires Margaret Thatcher and her lifetime ambition is to 'hold a monkey'...

    Most people probably think we've had enough tits in government. But Lucy as a 'good Chancellor' was certainly worth a laugh.


Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.

Comments are moderated - generally to filter out spam and comments wishing death on people - but other messages will be approved as quickly as possible.